life is only getting better......

sooo car is stolen.... our lawyer is contacting the people to see if their insurance will cover it...if not... time to sew them....YAY..not... i cant take any more stress. not sure how much longer i can hold off the break down.... trying to see the positive but the negative is starting to blind me.. some things gotta give... soooo the bitch that lived next door from me who let her handicapped kid bang his head on the wall at all hours of the day...who got kicked out of living next door...moved across the complex got her self a nice town house....destroyed the town house...and is now moving in next door, wtf.... thats it no more being nice....that kid bangs his head on the wall to the point of my pictures are moving....im calling cps and i have the number now... i cant ...no sorry... WONT deal with that shit again... i have enough stress in my life PLEASE ADD SOME MORE....... COME ON WHO ELSE WANTS TO GIVE ME A LIL MORE STRESS!!! ok now that ive vented... not understanding how i can do NOTHING WRONG ive done nothing to cause all my misfortune yet it keeps pilling on.... its 1pm and i need a freaking drink....cant ....damn....gotta kid to take care of... just hoping .....no i KNOW this all has to work out... theres no other option i wont let there be an alternative...its going to work out dammit... im going to get a nice new car with the money i get back from these assholes...then im going to deal with retard next door.. kaylynn will run not walk run around the house...my hubby and i will enjoy every moment of the home bills games... i will get pregnant this dec i will move into a nice new place next april....i will have a great time at my best friends wedding next july...i will have a beautiful healthy baby boy and life will be FUCKING AWESOME....why? because i said so dammit and there is no alternative...

grrr

ok so car was broken...car got fixed..now cars broken...cars not in front of shop...car might be stolen... and i really dont know if i care... i cant care any more.. when stress starts to literally make you sick...its time to stop caring so much.. i wish people would stop jinksing me... its not nice.... i have enough bad luck...dont send it my way...so found doggie a home...now lady says the dog is very very sick has to have surgery... what a fuckin lie...dog was perfectly fine when she left me and i got a number of people as witness to the fact that the dog fucking peed out side every day like 5 times a day if not more...not to mention her puppy pads had to be changed every day and the pee was yellow not red.....dumb fucking people...if your not going to pay me for the dog fine...but dont make up crazy shit to make me feel bad...because it works and it makes people like me who actually give a fuck feel pretty fuckin bad....like cant sleep cant eat kinda fucking bad.... i dont know... i dont think i can care any more.. pauls got hockey tonight YAY not here goes this whole thing again (why did i say yes...who knows....) the game is at 9:30 so if i go kaylynn will be up way late...if i dont ill be bored outta my mind the whole time...on top of that we have like no money for gas for the car we are using (funny mine has a full tank...hope some one didnt steal it cuz ima need the gas that was in there i aint got no mo money lol) and he might have to pay 10 to play...hmmmm we have 15 so that leave 5 for the car...that'll get us far.....grrrr and my kid is a pain in the butt today...hold me no dont hold...wait hold me...lets play..no maybe i wanna cry....GRRR to much stress not enough stress reliever.... i dont know how we are going to make it threw this next year i really dont...may this year sux but may next year better be freaking amazing......ohh yeah happy memorial day thank a vet and i mean veteran not a veterinarian they suck!!!

chillin'

I lost 5lbs not much but its gone and stayed gone...i feel a lil better...gotta work on my tummy tho, cuz thats the war zone lol! getting the ab lounge from jenny this week :) yay...now i just gotta force myself to use it....i wanna get an exercise ball too....hmmmm..... feeling kinda fuzzy today. going to dans concert tonight... always makes me a lil worried i mean its a bar down town :/ kinda scary lol... plus we might be meeting his new women sooo im always like omg what is she gunna be like ya know....just a lil freaked out....i had a fever last night..not a bad one it was only 100.1 soo but still i was hoping that would let me get outta today lol damn...now im better and ready to....have fun i guess lol... i dunno i just feel like chillin' all day...taken it easy.....oh well gotta get pumped and go enjoy a rock band...yay lol!! HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!! (thank god for Hannah Montana lol) oh yeah our car got fixed (new engine....cant believe it...) but the check engine soon light is on WTF i think its just a gas cap but gotta get it checked out....

lifes to short

Life is just to short to care about the awaiting circumstance,
there nothing you can do now to change the future,
Life is just to short to just turn your head away,
you never know when he might just walk away,
Life is just to short because you never know what they might say,
or whether or not you will ever see another day,
Life is just to short to waist your time on what isn't,
its time to really enjoy what is,
Life is just to short to to lose control over not having control,
just sit back and enjoy the ride,
Life is just to short to care if the other does not,
time to look for those who have always been there but you forgot,
Life is just to short to not live every single day with no fear with no hate,
Life should be lived every day with hope and love
It's never to late to start living today!

what to do

ok so i am selling Riley online... i feel bad but one our complex changed there rules (kinda they said one pet but didnt really care to many people have like 5pets they start to care i get screwed) so now i have to find riley a new home... well i also have to replace the engine in my car and pauls getting $200 a month taken out of his check for garnishments sooo im screwed need money... no one really get back to me on the dog but one kinda nice lady asking 200 she talks me down to 100 but shes paying me 50 now 50 in two weeks (how do i know she going to pay me? and i want riley gone soon cuz im starting to feel really bad and trying to detach my self) then another lady says she will give me 150 up front and wants to take her like now... so i told her first come first serve... but i feel bad cuz im kinda screwing the other lady...but then again she'd be screwing me....grr what to do HELP.... i hate being the one to get screwed so i dont want to screw any one but why do i have to take the hit cuz i have a freakin conscience??? help... and pauls working overnight all this week YAY which means noooo sleep for me YAY as if you couldnt tell lol i am blogging at 1:40 am lol need sleep cant sleep want to sleep cant sleep i feel bad but dont want to be screw....grrr

and the bullshit continues

i will never ever for the life of me come to understand how some people literally have no common sense i mean its common isnt it? omg just pissed me off how much my husband want to save the world one stupid cardboard box at a time...mean while my house looks like shit because all the "recycling" is piled up... its fucking garbage just laying around my fucking table that i have to eat at.... its nasty... figure out another option dont just put it in a corner ohh but wait that using common sense again sorry i for got... you know how my common sense works? its garbage throw it the fuck away! omg i hate how my husband just stands there and stairs at me like im speaking a foreign fuckin language are you kidding me... he has no brain i swear to god not brain he was born with no fuckin brain...... needless to say people who lack common sense stay the fuck away from me cuz i just might fuckin kill you

really really hate it...

i really really hate it when people feel the need to put you down and make themselves sound so fuckin great!! i mean really i know my faults i dont need you nit picking them and how am i going to better my self if you just wanna kick me down... give me a fuckin hand if your so great.. if youve got it so fuckin right teach me.... just dont get it... you know im kicking my own ass and feeling like shit why join in...again if your so great then be great and make me better... fuck you, and ya know what you aint fucking great and i can admit im not that great of a person and you know what i can not wait to watch you fail... again and again and again.... but the better part is ...i'll be the one to give you the fuckin hand when you do.

the craziest weekend i think ive every had

ok so this weekend was my mother in laws surprise party.. okay not a big deal she was surprised blah blah so we go play mini golf. we had fun but when we went to leave i realized there was big puddle of green fluid coming from my car... wtf... so we drove it back to my sister in laws and finished the rest of the day.. my brother in law was going to try to fix it sunday so we ended up spending the night at there house.. but that night i went bowling with my two sister inlaws and my mother inlaw... omg sooo much fun... i really suck at bowling but it was still great.. tried to teach my sis inlaw to dance.. hahaha that was great. and i had the semi good looking guy next to us watching, which made his date give me a major evil eye lol just nice to know i still got it lol! but im doing ok on the dieting/working out thing even tho this weekend was crazy... been doing a lot of portion control and the upset stomach ive had the past few days really helped lol.. so we finally get home last night (mind you i got like 3hrs of sleep the night before and my kid got maybe 5hrs sleep) so kaylynn is sleeping we are getting into bed and paul goes... um did we ever find the cat... shit... well she got out saturday when i let the dog out.. we did not know this sooo the poor thing was walking around outside for two days.. i felt so bad... i went outside to look for her and there she was at the end of the parking lot.. when i called her name she froze and then when see saw me she started to run... towards me.. i felt so bad. but my neighbor said she was feeding her stake lucky cat lol.. needless to say my white cat was now black.. so after 3hrs of sleep the night before now i was washing my cat at 10:30pm wonderful but she home and shes safe.. now the car.. my bro inlaw could not fix it did not have the right tools. its at the shop now and its only the tube (had a big hole in it) they are only charging us the part cost and cost of the antifreeze to fill it YAY! so its still like 70$ but coulda been much worse so thank you god.. My parents will be here this week end and i am actually kinda looking forward to it. i gotta clean my house really bad but i think my sis inlaw is watching kaylynn overnight thur for me so i can get it all done with out her up my butt lol.. so this weekend was so much fun so frustrating and so crazy all at the same time.. but hey im an urban i should be useto it by now!! lol