so.....i wrote this big long thing on my pc and now....i cant copy it to here......AH! i guess i should type here first n then copy to my pc....geesh! my kid does not know how to play on her own....wish she would.. So i keep thinking...im sick of thinking lol no really i hate ...see i hate... i hate a lot yet i hate the word hate...i just wanna be happy!?! ive been happy but i always find a way to flip it so every thing is horrible! y? cuz then i will never be unhappy when my life becomes unhappy because i will always be unhappy......WHAT THE HELL! that doesnt make sense... Heres what i think...to hell with the past to hell with the future im here. now...may 14th...22 years old married with a beautiful daughter... whats missing in my life? true happiness in the form of friends and good times. I dont want to be limited to these four walls. So moving to mi? move back to michigan the very place i spent so many years running from? maybe! why maybe? because i do not know yet. I want my future to come as it will. i will not worry about it and no longer will i live in the past or in fear of the past resurrecting its self in my today! I cant stop it i cant change it so why waist time on it? No more thats it....no more negative thinking no more negative living... how do i implement this....hell if i know but im gunna try and if i fail well oh well. You know what i focus way to much of my time on the WHAT IF?!?! so WHY NOT is my new look... why cant i do or be any thing? WHO has to live my life? hm....hmmm???? ME thats who so why am i letting every one else make all the decisions in my life? hell if i know but not any more... im making up my mind and im doing what at the end of the day makes my heart feel complete!